My cell phone rang 7:30 yesterday morning. Not the first time it has rang that early but this time it was different. It was my team member Carlos. He had just woken up a few moments earlier and had been startled awake by a bizarre dream of an exorcism being performed on a little girl in front of him. With the experience still new in his head, he said he had to talk to someone who might be able to explain why he just had this nightmare. This isn’t uncommon to people who are in the beginning stages of their stint as a paranormal investigator. It’s a whole new world, so to speak, to actually be involved with the process of investigating a location and being confronted with the possibility of encountering the unknown. It’s definitely not what you see on TV where the hours and hours are edited into a half hour. It’s in-your-face and personal because you are experiencing it first hand and not watching or hearing about it. Carlos might have been experiencing some anxiety over the experiences he’s encountered combined with the expressed concerned of a loved one that is worried about him every time he goes to an investigation. The description he gave me about the girl being violent and displaying hatred and evil towards him really shook him up good. I could tell in his voice because he’s usually an upbeat type of personality.
Later in the day, I spoke to another member, Liana. She mentioned having a nightmare of a demon’s face confronting her. That was two similar but separate stories related to me and only few hours apart. Strange. Both of them are only a few months into the paranormal field, which could be a reason for the sudden outburst of frightening nightmares. Uncertainty in their own personal abilities to handle the field in which they are now studying...maybe. Both are very good investigators in their own right and have shown their knack for the paranormal when I've been around them. But it was odd that they both, at almost the same time, had an experience that would scare many new investigators into an early retirement.
The one thing that stood out to me is that even though they both were shocked, frightened, and concerned by what they experienced, neither one said a word about giving up investigating and an expressed a deeper desire into researching more into the paranormal field. I was very intrigued by their reactions. As Liana mentioned a few sentences later, “ I question though is it a dark force in me that wants to search or is it something else? It’s a question that pokes at me from time to time”. She mentioned her mom wanted her to stop but that there was a drive in her that MUST search. Like she HAS to do this. Very interesting.
Carlos was trying to rationalize what he just experienced to me as I gave him some possible reasons why he had a nightmare like that. I’m not sure of his exact words but he conceded that maybe it was a wake-up call or example of what he could possibly be facing one day when he’s further along down the road in the field. After talking again to him today, he's even MORE driven to find out what is really going on “on the other side”. Sounds like my daily train of thought exactly.
So what is this “it” that drives us to investigate into exactly where the voices are coming from? Each of us have that deep drive of curiosity towards the paranormal. But what is it that makes us want to know the unknown? Some have had an experience with a shadow person at a young age. Some of us are visited by a family relative. Some go through other types of events that are paranormal-related. But even then...not all of those people turn to investigating the paranormal. I can't help but think it's a spiritual calling for some of us. I even think it's biological in nature. We are just “wired” like that. In my case, some of my family members going back two generations have felt it.
In everyone I've talked to in this field, there are two common traits. The first being they are all spiritually connected to the other side in some way or some fashion. Some people more than others but they all are. By saying it's spiritual, it's nothing religious in nature. Probably not at all. Just a mental consciousness that gives them confidence that they can in some way connect to what they think is there waiting to answer the questions they ask. Secondly, I see a deep desire, a yearning, a life's mission...call it what you want, to find out the answers to every question their spiritual side is asking. It's an unmistakable mental drive. Your own soul leads you that way. These common traits connect us all with each other. They bond us in a way that people, outside of doing what we do, will never understand. It's what makes people that would otherwise never ever meet, become friends. It's funny, you connect in a way that not even your family or loved ones do with you. Even attempting to explain it is a difficult task. But like another team member once said, “ we speak the same language”. Without explaining a thing, you understand what they are talking about. Same fears, same thoughts, same curiosities, same need to know. It's why you are willing to stand in the rain or cold... recording. Plain and simple.
Many, if not all, will continue to do this until our very own death occurs. For me, I can't imagine NOT investigating, researching, experimenting, reading, and learning about this field. It's in me to do it. There may be times where I will take a break briefly and live ''normally” but I will always go back to this before long. I have to. I can't help it. There are just too many questions in my head and not enough answers to satisfy them. The more I learn, the more I need to know.
Again, it's why we do what we do.
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